Sunday, December 11, 2011

Only in america..?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.








2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.








3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.








4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.








5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.








6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.








7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.








8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.








9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'





.


10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.








EVER WONDER








Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?








Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?








Why don't you ever see the headline ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?








Why is ';abbreviated'; such a long word?








*Why is it that doctors call what they do ';practice';?








Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?








Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?








Why aren't the letters on a keyboard in order?








Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?








Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?








When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?








Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?








Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?








You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??








Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?








Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?








If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?








If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?








------------------


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:








On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).








On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?








On a bar of Dial soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap.'; (and that would be how???....)








On some Swanson frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost.'; ( But, it's ';just'; a suggestion).








On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside down.'; (well.... a bit late huh?)








On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating.'; (...nahhh... Really??...)








On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body.'; (but wouldn't this save me more time?)








On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'; (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)








On Nytol Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness.'; (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)








On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only.'; (as opposed to... what?)








On a Japanese food processor: ';Not to be used for the other use.'; (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)








On Sunsbury's peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)








On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'; (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)








On a child's superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'; (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)








On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'; (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)Only in america..?
Funny!! Thanks!!


P.S. I CAN put on mascara with my mouth closed!Only in america..?
whoever voted....THANKS!! Hahahahahah!!

Report Abuse



lol wow a good one
Thanks, you are a world of information!~~
These are sooo old they aren't even funny anymore.


And ';poli'; and ';tics'; are not Latin words.
lol
oh my god im giving u a star! woo hoo! it's sad but true.
haha....thank you!!
ahhh-choo.
i love this they are all soo funny i want to tell my friends on how good this page is ....!!!!!!!!!!
lol that's one of the funniest things i've seen





..I know why they don't make the aeroplanes out of the black box crap, its because it would be to heavy for an aeroplane to lift off.
I can answer the one about the typewriters. When typewriters were first invented, it was found that some people could type fast enough to have the keys jam. Remember, the machines were mechanical with the levers rising to strike the ribbon. The current keyboard was configured to slow down the typist long enough for the letter arms to clear each other. The configuration has stayed this way out of habit.
lol
Lol





That made my day
lol!
Those are pretty good
THANK YOU SOMUCH THIS WAS SO ENTERTAINING DURING MY BORDEM, THAAAAAAAANK YOUUUUUUUUUU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL! It's great. =)
LOL loved that!
wow, u just made my day...star for u

Proof of human stupidity?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.





2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.





3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.





4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.





5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.





6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.





7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.





8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.





9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'





. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.





11.Only in America.....Will you go to a restraunt in seaworld and ask for bandaids and get mayonnaise





EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?





Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?





Why don't you ever see the headline ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?





Why is ';abbreviated'; such a long word?





Why is it that doctors call what they do ';practice';?





Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on ';Start';?





Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?





Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?





Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?





Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?





When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?





Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?





Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?





You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??





Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?





Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?





If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?





If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?





------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:





On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).





On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?





On a bar of Dial soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap.'; (and that would be how???....)





On some Swanson frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost.'; (but, it's ';just'; a suggestion).





On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside down.'; (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!





On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating.'; (...and you thought????...)





On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body.'; (but wouldn't this save me more time?)





On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'; (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)





On Nytol Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness.'; (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)





On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only.'; (as opposed to...what?)





On a Japanese food processor: ';Not to be used for the other use.'; (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as '; to be used for intended use only'; basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)





On Sunsbury's peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)





On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'; (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)





On a child's superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'; (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)





On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'; (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)Proof of human stupidity?
these are all so funny. LOL:)





pinoy ka ba bro? ;)Proof of human stupidity?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
Hahahahahaha!!!
Only in America
Nice observations
Awesome Compilation...





Really thinking Humorous!!!





CheerS!!!





Thumbs Up!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!


I really neede a laugh coz its been one of those days...really really bad...cant concentrate on my work coz im waiting to get my period to confirm im not pregnant after 3 nights ago...
It's not only in America anymore.
long but good, some of them heard before
why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?





why does shipments go by car and cargo go by ship?





why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
haha





=]]

Isn't this hilarious?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.



2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.



3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.



5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.



8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



9. Only in America......do we use the word ’politics’ to describe the process so well: ’Poli’ in Latin meaning ’many’ and ’tics’ meaning ’bloodsucking creatures’



10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM’s with Braille lettering.



11.Only in America.....Will you go to a restraunt in seaworld and ask for bandaids and get mayonise



EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?



Why don’t you ever see the headline ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?



Why is ';abbreviated'; such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do ';practice';?



Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click ..';?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?



When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?



Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff??



Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



————————-- In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:



On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).



On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?



On a bar of Dial soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap.'; (and that would be how???....)



On some Swanson frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost.'; (but, it’s ';just'; a suggestion).



On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside down.'; (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!



On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating.'; (...and you thought????...)



On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body.'; ...



On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'; (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)



On Nytol Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness.'; (and.. .I’m taking this because???....)



On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only.'; (as opposed to...what?)



On Sunsbury’s peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'; (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)



On a child’s superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'; (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)



On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'; (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)Isn't this hilarious?
I think its funny :]



thanks for sharing!



and whats sad is that it's not just in america!Isn't this hilarious?
Somebody posted this a while ago.



Not really funny.
too long
you should have tried breaking this into 3 questions.. its tooooo much to read !..lol



well i did read a little. and yes, its funny :D
Yes!!! I've read this before and I wish I knew who wrote it. Does anybody know? Thanks for posting this!!!!
that was nice. lol but seriously noah...why DIDNT you swat those damn mosquitoes? lol
very cool
I've seen this before, yes, funny indeed. The warning labels were especially good.
ya
yes it is a bit funny
hey that was interesting and fun! thank's!=D
george carlin routine.
Wow - you could do an entire hour of being a stand-up comedian!



~ SO, THEREFORE ~



Only in America, why can't performing comedians sit down?!



Yes, this is all hilarious ! Thanks and a star coming your way!
I read it all.



I'd like to add:



Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?



LOL

Thanks for the laugh.
Very clever. Thanks for sharing.
haha! yes! its hilarious. i love it =)
I get points for reading a joke? Is this how one advances in Y!A?
no, i dont see anything hilarious about this
I can’t believe people said “to long to read”

I have seen this before (but only in England..) and this was hilarious and so where the labels.

My favourite;

On Sunsbury’s peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)

HA!!
yup they are lol
Hahahahahah very funny indeed !!!!



What a strange world we live in !
You got this off of a website didn't you??



That's plaguerizing buddy.....

THlS WILL INTEREST YOU I PROMISE?

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.








2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.








3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.








4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.








5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.








6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.








7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.








8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.








9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'





.


10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.








EVER WONDER








Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?








Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?








Why don't you ever see the headline ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?








Why is ';abbreviated'; such a long word?








*Why is it that doctors call what they do ';practice';?








Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?








Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?








Why aren't the letters on a keyboard in order?








Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?








Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?








When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?








Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?








Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?








You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??








Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?








Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?








If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?








If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?








------------------


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:








On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).








On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?








On a bar of Dial soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap.'; (and that would be how???....)








On some Swanson frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost.'; ( But, it's ';just'; a suggestion).








On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside down.'; (well.... a bit late huh?)








On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating.'; (...nahhh... Really??...)








On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body.'; (but wouldn't this save me more time?)








On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'; (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)








On Nytol Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness.'; (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)








On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only.'; (as opposed to... what?)








On a Japanese food processor: ';Not to be used for the other use.'; (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)








On Sunsbury's peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)








On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'; (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)








On a child's superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'; (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)








On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'; (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)THlS WILL INTEREST YOU I PROMISE?
LMFAO.......LMFAO.........LOL those were so funny and sooo TRUE!!!!!!! i always wonder about some of those things.......thx for the laugh.....had a great time reading these!!!!!!!!!!THlS WILL INTEREST YOU I PROMISE?
Good Question.
HAHAHA! NICE
ha ive always wondered about the hot dogs/bun packages. it bothers me.
Nah, that happens in Canada, too. ;)
HAHAHAHA








dude - every single one of those is hilarious
This is actually pretty funny
that's neat. But they don't make the whole plane out of the black box because it would weigh to much.
lmao. nice. i love these. i have many like this one.





:)
tl;dr.


I've seen those 'jokes' so many times, they arent funny anymore.
vERY funny =] Also on the american military rocket launcher it has a label: 'point towards enemy' Its iike. Realy? I was planning on shooting myself
Thats funny!!! All the stupid warnings on things are because Amercia is sue happy, I mean since when can you sue Nike for tripping on shoe laces!?? Actually happened


Thanks for the chuckle





It was Sept. 11 Ivy N Not so smart now are ya!?
wow, what was the ??
So true!!!
these are all very funny. I have answers to most of the questions
This was funny
very funny! I like the Noah one
lmao that was very interesting! you forgot one though.


Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?


lmao :)
stay off the green stuff








just kidding





those are some really interesting questions.


I like this one
lol! Hrd sum be4 but they are still gd. :-)
the letters on a keyboard arent in order cause when they first had the tape...if you type too fast the tape like gets caught up and you have to fix it...so they just put the keys in random places .........and the sterilize the needle cause once in a while they have to stop the injection
They're so funny but true!
If only I had the answers to give to you on any of these questions
the reason there is no mouse flavored cat food cats don't eat mice they just like to kill them. what i wonder is why they don't make *** flavored cat food cause it seems that's my cats favorite thing to lick
thats is all so true and they do make sick people go in the back !
Haha, I love the Boot's Children Cough Medicine. xD





I wonder where this world will end up....
this was really good i liked it and my dad like praises u cuz u feel the same as he does Americans act really dumb but ya gotta love the good USA and i dont open my mouth when i put on mascara i just blink really fast. I really liked the Swedish chainsaw that was a new one never heard of that lol awesome job on and Ivy n its september 11 (9/11) not september 9th nice job on trying to be smart and making Americans look better
wow we are reeslly doomed... o well at least were to dumb to know when were gonna die!!! hahahaha arent we all idiots!
HAHAH that was hilarious!! Kudos to you! I especially like the chainsaw one, that was hilarious!!! You get a star for this one!
haha nice job with these!


* for you!!
haha. thts funny. star 4 u

Proof of human stupidity!!!?

READ is worth it !!!!!is funny





1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance











2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.











3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.











4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.











5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.











6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.











7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.











8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.











9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'POLO' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.











10. Only in America......do they have drive-up AT M's with Braille lettering.











11.Only in America.....Will you go to a restraint in sea world and ask for band aids and get mayonnaise











EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?











Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?











Why don't you ever see the headline ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?











Why is ';abbreviated'; such a long word?











Why is it that doctors call what they do ';practice';?











Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on ';Start';?











Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?











Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?











Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?











Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?











When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?











Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?











Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?











You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??











Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?











Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?











If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?











If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?











------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:











On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).











On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?











On a bar of Dial soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap.'; (and that would be how???....)











On some Swanson frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost.'; (but, it's ';just'; a suggestion).











On Tosca's Trams dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside





down.'; (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!











On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating.'; (...and you thought????...)











On packaging for a Rowenta iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body.'; (but wouldn't this save me more time?)











On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'; (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-heralds with head-colds off those forklifts.)











On NTL Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness.'; (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)











On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only.'; (as opposed to...what?)











On a Japanese food processor: ';Not to be used for the other use.'; (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as '; to be used for intended use only'; basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. Lil)











On Salisbury's peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts.'; (talk about a news flash)











On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'; (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)











On a child's superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'; (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)











On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'; (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)Proof of human stupidity!!!?
I love you, I get to read something funny and get two points for it :) thanksProof of human stupidity!!!?
Woa !!!!! whos gonna read all that.........
Thats too much i read


some though and i really


gotta get out of america (:
HEY U, got some cash... if you do... then hit me up


send me an email, and u can blow... jus send through paypal


and thats the show!
true but did you have to use so many spaces? it makes it seem longer than it really is
in canada you have to walk to the back of the drug store to get yiur prescriptions and the cigarettes are in the front





so its not only in america
Good stuff, true too.
whatever floats your boat
It's interesting. I've given you a star.
Wow thats just crazy i never though of that
lol, true story.
bloody brilliant thnx
  • girl myspace
  • Lightening hair with lemon juice?

    I have brown hair and it seems to keep getting darker and darker. I've heard lemon juice helps to lighten it just a little but I'm not sure the best way. Should I rinse it out immediately? Should I add water? How much water? I've heard sitting in the sun with it in my hair helps. Should I do that? What lemon to water ratio should I use? How long should I sit in the sun?

    Lightening hair with lemon juice?
    well i used to have dark brown hair and thanks to lemons now its light brown and caramel color...



    dont use any water...

    just cut a lemon in half and squeeze the juice on you hair

    make sure it gets everywhere you want to get lighter

    and sit in the sun for like 2 hrs.

    itll lighten your hair just like that!!



    if you want a less drastic effect use limes instead...

    again dont mix with water and apply it to your hair

    it wont give you as much of a drastic difference as a lemon would do



    but lemon and lime sun dying really works!!!

    hope this helps :P

    Lightening hair with lemon juice?
    dont be cheap, get highlights
    Lemon juice only lightens hair that is already really blonde. So it's not going to do a thing on brown hair.
    Well, this doesn't work if you have dark hair. If it's light brown, then maybe. Don't add water and don't rinse it out immediately, it won't hurt your hair. Make sure it is evenly in your hair, but not too thick. Then go soak up the sun for a couple hours
    Does Shrek do that, no! Just tell him you dont need any eggs
    dont get highlightss they look really bad on top of brown hair trust me=]



    what you could do what i did is go to the drugstore and buy a hair product that turns your hair completly blonde... i think mine was called lorel premium blonde or something...and instead of leaving it in for 30 min like instructed leave it in for about 6-10 min or so... it wont amke a drastic change but it will still lighten it up=]



    it worked for me=]

    Theworld is doomed...Funny things?

    We are doomed …..








    EVER WONDER where we are headed...


    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?








    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?








    Why you don't ever see the headline: ';Psychic Wins Lottery';?








    Why ';abbreviated'; is such a long word?








    Why Doctors call what they do ';practice';?








    Why you have to click on ';Start'; to stop Windows XP?














    Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?











    Why the man who invests all your money is called a ';Broker';?











    Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?








    Who tastes dog food when it has a ';new %26amp; improved'; flavor?











    Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?











    Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?











    Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?








    Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?











    Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?











    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?











    Why they call the airport ';the terminal'; if flying is so safe?











    AND...











    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.








    On a Myer hairdryer: ';Do not use while sleeping';. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).











    On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)











    On a bar of Palmolive soap: ';Directions: Use like regular soap';. (And that would be how???)











    On some frozen dinners: ';Serving suggestion: Defrost';. (But, it's just a suggestion).








    On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): ';Do not turn upside down';. (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!











    On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding: ';Product will be hot after heating';.. (And you thought????...)











    On packaging for a K-Mart iron: ';Do not iron clothes on body';. (But wouldn't this save me more time?)











    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: ';Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication';. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)











    On Nytol Sleep Aid: ';Warning: May cause drowsiness';. (And...I'm taking this because???)











    On most brands of Christmas lights: ';For indoor or outdoor use only';.(As opposed to...what?)











    On a Japanese food processor: ';Not to be used for the other use';.(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


    On Nobby's peanuts: ';Warning: contains nuts';. (Talk about a news flash!)











    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: ';Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts';.


    (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)











    I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:











    On a child's superman costume: ';Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly';.











    On a Swedish chainsaw: ';Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals';. (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)








    I was in tears from laughter after i read this maybe cuz the hormone levels are high lol (21wks preg)Theworld is doomed...Funny things?
    lol that was hilarious =]


    Star for u!





    btw hope you have a healthy baby inshallah!!Theworld is doomed...Funny things?
    wow well done usually i give on these long messages but this time i read it right through so it must have been funny. yes if you were from another planet and read these things you would say he earth is doomed
    HAHAHAHA


    LOL


    THAT WAS FUNNY =D








    youre pregnant?


    ah hope everything goes well for you


    good luck!


    xxx
    I got that same email. Good stuff!